Do you avoid company picnics, ex-wives or pigeon pose? Find out why!It is human nature to avoid things that are uncomfortable or difficult. Creatures of habit are creatures of comfort. Often that 'comfort' really is quite uncomfortable, but the at least the mind recognizes it and in that lies comfort.
The brain is a constant hive of activity. It has been programmed in response to situations that have occurred in this lifetime, the womb and quite possibly previous lifetimes. This programming creates prejudices of right and wrong. These prejudices develop into attitudes and shape the way you see the world, judge yourself and judge others. These patterns and prejudices dictate your joy or discontent.
Basically, you embrace what you recognize and like, and avoid what you don't. For me, I have been blessed with an amazing opportunity for personal growth and expansion. My life situation has gifted me a relationship involving an ex-wife. Upon much self-reflection, I realize that I hold a lot of tension around this situation. I have been unable to pinpoint the emotion. It is not anger, jealousy, anxiety, insecurity, hatred or fear. It certainly is not love, peace or joy. It is just a nagging, physical sensation that has been tugging at my heart strings until this morning.
In my heart of heart's I know there is much I can learn from this situation. I know that this is an excellent opportunity to exercise true love and compassion, which has nothing to do with her and everything to do with the peace in my own heart.
This situation is uncomfortable for me, because I do not have a program in my mind to process it. My parents are still married and both sets of grandparents were married until death do them part. Today, I have peace in knowing that I simply need to update my conscious software and change my mental programming. I need to open my mind further and expand my heart.
It is normal to avoid, people and situations that make you uncomfortable. I see the same thing in teaching yoga. It is common to come to child's pose and avoid the discomfort of working through tight hips, hamstrings, backs, quads or shoulders. It's also easy to avoid difficult conversations and speaking your truth. It is natural to try to associate only with people, places and poses that are easy, comfortable and in tune with your own vibrational frequency. The downside of feeding your patterns is limited growth. If you are not expanding, you are contracting. When the mind isn't opening, it is closing.
The reason it is desirable to avoid the undesirable is that anything that does not fit into your preconceived patterns or boxes creates stress. Even positive things such as relaxation, affection and loving relationships can be stressful when your brain does not recognize them. A narrow mind is a breeding ground for tension. It immediately transforms anything that it does not recognize into stress. This explains why even a massage, yoga class or first date can be stressful to someone who has never had this experience.
Relaxation opens the mind to self awareness allowing you to see your patterns. Patterns are like a cookie cutter. They will continue to create the same limited results. In order to reach your greatest potential, you must break free of your patterns and recognize your prejudices. Open your mind to the infinite possibilities and greatest good in every difficult situation, person and yoga pose.
Avoiding situations because they are uncomfortable will shrink your world; limiting your range of motion, emotion and connection to your greatest self. Create self-awareness around difficult situations. Substitute compassion for judgment. See them as teachers. You will learn more from transforming your uncomfortable into your comfortable then you will ever learn from reading a book, watching a webinar, going to counseling or taking a class.
Being Happy, Healthy and Fit means knowing that you may never do the full splits and I may never invite her over for dinner, but I am grateful for the awakening and challenge to truly 'love thy neighbor.' Next time you feel tension or notice it in someone else, realize that it is not personal. It just may be an indication that it is time for you to update your old software and tune into higher vibrations. Life is Short. Make yours Magical!